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Here I Am

August 2, 2008 1:39am 5 Comments

As it is, I'm a reserved person. I rarely write or talk about my personal life. However, the few times I've done it, I've found some kind of relief... but unfortunately the last time I did it, as some of you already know, I ended up putting my foot in my mouth...

I've no words to describe how ashamed I felt. And just to think about it is not pleasant at all.

I got to a point where I thought on taking this blog down indefinitely, but that would've been like taking the easy way out. Instead, I did something very difficult (at least for me): I forgave myself for my mistake. After all, I'm only human.

My aunt once told me that it is very important to forgive oneself for the mistakes one makes. Apologizing for them is very important, and so it is that you stop beating yourself over, and learn from them. Well, I did learn my lesson... and here I am.

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magikquilter

You were and are grieving...please keep that in mind my dear dear boy. I am so sorry and am even more sorry that it has come to this ...but good on you for forgiving yourself....you sound like a healthy young man to me and I wish for you a time of recovery where you can focus on what is important for you.... and your getting through this.

I would love it if you felt you could leave this comment up so that people could see you have some support out here.

August 2, 2008 5:04am

Juan

Thank you very much, Magikquilter. I very much appreciate your kind words.

Yes, slowly but surely I'll get through this.

All my best to you.

August 2, 2008 6:10am

Julianne

I was very touched by the post about your brother in the other post (I couldn't comment there!). I think what you said are all true and recently I was given the opportunity to think about what you had thought too...

Nobody died in my circumstance but the thought did hit me like a ton of bricks. I've always been worried about my husband dying and how much I'd miss him if that happened, but like you, I realized that it is probably out of a selfish intent that I think that way.

I'm glad that you are coming to terms with your loss. I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope that you will be able to pick yourself up and move on. Like you said, your brother would have wanted you to.

PS: I hope you don't think that I'm totally weird for writing a comment here though I'm a total stranger. I am a firm believer that the Internet brings people together and this is probably one instance of it.

August 6, 2008 1:58pm

Juan

Hi Julianne,

Thank you very much for you kind words.

No, I don't think you're weird or anything like that. Au contraire, I appreciate you took the time to leave a comment.

Best!

August 7, 2008 1:07am

Julianne

Heya! I'm just glad you published it! Take care dude! :D

August 8, 2008 12:27am