Bloggin' Cool

It turned out to be another long comment, so I made it a post... again.

Sulz, that was a very interesting post.

My friend and Juan sound like they are Particularists. They expect unconditional (speaking figuratively) love when they don’t deserve it, because they are willing to give unconditional love when the other party doesn’t deserve it either.

I may be a Particularist... However, I don't know about your friend, but I can tell you that that definition doesn't quite apply to me. Let me explain with this example:

Let's say that you and I met not while ago, let's say we met in February, I read your blog, we exchanged emails and I got to like you. And because I like you, and to show my appreciation of our new friendship, I give you a book. Then you tell me: "But why? I haven't given you anything" or "Why? We just met, I think I haven't done anything for you to give me a book" or something similar. I simply answer: "Well, because I like you and I think you're a wonderful person", or something around those lines. I, for one, because I know you like reading, I get happy to see you happy for getting a new book. But at the same time, I forget that I gave you a book and don't expect anything in return. I don't expect that in a few days you'll get me a CD of my favorite Rock band, for example, just because I gave you a book.

You could say, "oh, but you deserve it bacause you gave me a book". Well, my answer to that would be that I didn't give you a book just to deserve a gift from you in return... you know what I mean?

Another example would be like offering to MusEditions to port a skin for her without even knowing her that well. Why would I offer her that, you might ask? well, because I noticed how much she liked yours and thought, "okay she may get happy if I port one for her." I mean, just the idea of making someone's day, makes me feel good. And if MusEditions doesn't communicate with me ever again after I port the skin for her, that's unimportant to me. Why? because I don't expect anything in return. Not even a link back.

(MusEditions, please excuse me for including you in my example)

Now, if I need something, I don't expect to receive anything from any one just because I would help them if it was the other way around. You would have to be someone really, really, really close to me for me to expect something from you. You know what I mean?

In summary, what I'm trying to say is "Just because I'm willing to give unconditional love when the other party doesn't desrve it (as long as I don't hate or dislike that person * ), I don't expect to receive unconditional love either".

So what would that make me? a 75% or maybe 50% Particularist? :)

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* Of course, I'm not an angel either... and as a human, I can be a major asshole too if the wrong buttons are pushed...